Party In Congress
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“Winning” is the keyword in conservative media recently, as President Trump has scored victories over Congress, the Supreme Court, and other nations. From Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt to Fox News to a bevy of loyalist podcasters, the President is basking in accolades.

“There’s so much winning, the radical leftist socialist scum are going crazy!” announced the President at a cocktail celebration in the capital. “I can do anything I want!” Speaker Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune both congratulated the President on vanquishing the independence of the Congressional branch of government, surrendering a ceremonial gavel. In a brief appearance, Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett kissed the ring on his right hand. Asked later about the significance of the ring, Trump said, “Oh, nothing really. It’s something left over from my second marriage.”

Trump crowed about his recent foray into international diplomacy. “Bush Junior had to get permission from Congress to go and bomb Iraq. Not me. I’m ‘the decider’ now!” he said with a laugh. “Bibbi didn’t have big enough balls for Iran. Oops, bombs I mean. But I went in and bunker-bombed their nukes. End of story! Ha ha! I guess I really do have bigger ones!” At which point, presidential aides steered his focus to the hors d’oeuvres in the Senate chambers.

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