Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy responded enthusiastically to President Trump’s Peace Plan today, accepting every item while proposing minor adjustments to demonstrate “true partnership solidarity.”
“We welcome this opportunity for peace and appreciate that the United States views Ukraine as an equal partner in attaining this goal,” Zelenskyy wrote in a letter released Thursday morning. “Therefore, we suggest the following revisions to the Putin Peace … that is, the Trump Peace Plan.”
The proposed modifications include:
Military Reductions: Ukraine agrees to reduce its forces by 25% as requested, provided the United States demonstrates solidarity by matching the reduction proportionally. “Given that Active Duty and Ready Reserve total 2.1 million U.S. soldiers, approximately 500,000 American service members will join the 250,000 Ukrainians returning home to enjoy their families.”
Weapons Limitations: While Ukraine abandons all long-range missiles and aircraft as stipulated, the United States would dismantle its long-range nuclear arsenal and bomber squadrons in partnership. “However, since we do not have submarines,” Zelenskyy noted graciously, “America may continue operating theirs globally—once missiles have been removed, of course.”
Alliance Withdrawal: Ukraine will abandon its NATO membership aspirations immediately. In solidarity, the United States will withdraw from the alliance as well. “As equals committed to the same peaceful principles, we should share the same security arrangements,” the letter reasoned.
Zelenskyy’s response continued through ten additional points of “clarification” derived from Trump’s Peace Plan, each following the same partnership framework.
The White House did not immediately respond to requests for comment, though sources report President Trump spent the afternoon asking aides, “What does ‘proportional’ mean?” and “Do we have a lot of submarines? Like, more than ten?”
Secretary of State Marco Rubio issued a brief statement calling Zelenskyy’s letter “an interesting interpretation of burden-sharing” before declining further questions.
In closing, Zelenskyy reiterated his commitment to resolving the conflict hand-in-hand with America. “All Ukrainians are looking forward to a swift resolution of this barbaric invasion of a sovereign nation. Once again, the United States is leading the way to peace on our planet, and we are honored to walk this path together as true equals. Godspeed!”