On Friday, the government of Honduras issued arrest warrants for Juan Hernandez, former president and convicted drug smuggler, and his accomplice Donald J. Trump, currently the American president.
“Hernandez is worse than the cartels for the damage he has done to our country,” said Honduran Attorney General Johel Zelaya. “We were content with his incarceration in the United States. Then Trump just opens the door and lets him out? Preposterous!”
Hernandez moved tons of drugs through Honduras and into the United States over decades, all the while taking U.S. money to work against drug runners. Putting him behind bars was a subject of pride among American prosecutors who pursued him.
“We extradited a criminal to you, seeking justice,” Zelaya continued. “Now it is your turn. Arrest Trump or extradite him to Honduras for trial.”
When reached for comment, Trump posted on Truth Social: “Never heard of this Juan guy. Probably a Democrat. Honduras is a beautiful country though. Thinking about a Trump Tower there, right on the beach. Very classy!”
Hernandez, meanwhile, was spotted near Mar-a-Lago carrying luggage labeled “Definitely Not Drugs.”