In an exemplary application of the business skills acquired over decades, President Trump has pressed a shakedown of two of America’s most successful chipmakers. Nvidia and AMD will both be passing 15% of their AI chip revenue from China to the US government. In exchange, the Trump Administration’s Commerce Department will reissue the export licenses it canceled in April.
“This is Racketeering, plain and simple,” said Senator John Slipshank. “The 1970 U.S. RICO Act defines Racketeering as a service to remedy a problem of its own making. Further, it’s a type of organized crime in which the perpetrators set up a coercive, extortionary, or otherwise illegal coordinated scheme to repeatedly or consistently collect a profit.”
“Ya gotta givit to the man,” said Joe Ladronico from his cell in Leavenworth prison. “He created a problem that wasn’t necessary and extorted a payout of 15% to fix it. Classy! Though I think he coulda got 25.”
Karoline Leavitt, the White House Press Secretary, objected to the Senator’s characterization. “Are you kidding? This is not organized crime. This is the President of the United States! The government is using its rightful power to bring money into the US Treasury,” she clarified. “Of course, the President will reserve a small percentage for his role in resolving this trade issue.”
