President Trump today announced the creation of a new federal Department of Election Integrity, citing the need for the federal government to take over electoral tasks assigned to States by the U.S. Constitution. “That constitutional stuff isn’t working....
“Let’s get something straight right now. This virtue you have, this Black Gold, is mine! You do your thing to get it. I sell it. The money we get is mine!” “Don’t worry. I’ll give you some, if...
On Friday, the government of Honduras issued arrest warrants for Juan Hernandez, former president and convicted drug smuggler, and his accomplice Donald J. Trump, currently the American president. “Hernandez is worse than the cartels for the damage he...
Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia made an unexpected demand today, calling on Russian President Vladimir Putin to “release the tapes!” The long-time Trump supporter appeared suddenly willing to counter the President after announcing her imminent retirement from...
Jared Kushner and Donald Trump Jr. yesterday announced plans for a massive amusement and luxury complex in the Saudi-allied nation of Duhai, featuring gold-plated roller coasters connecting dome towers that lean at “architecturally daring” angles. “Think of an...
Five thousand hungry Americans gathered on the Ellipse yesterday after President Trump promised “a miracle” on Truth Social. Trump appeared in a brown robe—”100% Egyptian cotton, very expensive”—and approached the microphone. “You’re starving. The fake news won’t tell...
**WASHINGTON** — President Trump boasted today about a cerebral examination in which he proclaimed unqualified victory, telling gathered reporters that he had achieved “marks so high, so incredible, that the testing professors wept at witnessing such raw intellectual...
President Trump today announced the cancellation of tariff negotiations with Canada, apparently in response to an advertisement the Province of Ontario ran in U.S. markets. The ad ran clips of President Ronald Reagan lambasting tariffs as counterproductive to...
“We’re finally doing something about this. Soon, the White House and entire Executive Branch will be SAFE!” texted the President on Truth Social. His response to criticism about demolishing an established part of American history fell flat. “It’s...
From high in the White House, President Trump hailed the thousands of people gathered outside his gated entry, past the Ellipse, and continuing to the National Mall. “Thank you, patriots! This looks to be the biggest rally I’ve...