Immigration officials have confirmed reports that the Statue of Liberty has been removed from Liberty Island. ICE agents conducted a thorough search through archived records, finding that Lady Liberty actually originated in France. She arrived in 1886 without the required immigration papers.
Workers dismantled the 305 foot statue and loaded it onto a freighter over the Memorial Day Weekend, to minimize public exposure and inconvenience. Upon recognition of her removal, Democratic Representative Stephen Thrownought voiced strong disapproval. “This is an outrage! The Statue of Liberty has been the guiding light of democracy and freedom throughout the world. To steal her away in the dead of a holiday weekend is despicable! We demand her immediate return.”
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt replied to reporters’ questions. “Rules are Rules. Laws are laws, enforceable to the full extent of the laws, rules, whatever. No papers, no freeloading! She’s been deported.” Democrats vowed to sue to retrieve her.
In an updated report, Leavitt later confirmed an extreme weather event. “Due to near hurricane level winds and high seas in the Atlantic, we have learned that the statue broke free of its tie-downs and unfortunately was lost at sea, somewhere over the Laurentian Abyss, or maybe the Marianas Trench. Somewhere out there.”
