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Making Sense of American Politics
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October 23, 2025/
“We’re finally doing something about this. Soon, the White House and entire Executive Branch will be SAFE!” texted the President on Truth Social. His response to criticism about demolishing an established part of American history fell flat. “It’s so large in comparison to the rest of the White House that it looks like a cancerous growth threatening to overwhelm the...
October 19, 2025/
From high in the White House, President Trump hailed the thousands of people gathered outside his gated entry, past the Ellipse, and continuing to the National Mall. “Thank you, patriots! This looks to be the biggest rally I’ve had so far. Biggest in our country’s history!” It didn’t matter to him that the people in the distance couldn’t hear him....
October 10, 2025/
“Have they announced it yet? Did I get it?” President Trump asked his Press Secretary, Karoline Leavitt, for the third time this morning. “Not yet, Mr. President. But any minute now. I don’t see how the Nobel Committee could possibly conclude otherwise.” An aide rushed in, clutching a printout. Trump snatched the paper and read aloud: “‘Trump No-Bell Prize.’ Finally!...
October 2, 2025/
The early fall rain had started as the cars began to line up at the White House rear entry. Within ten minutes, twenty of the Trump loyalists were gathered in the Oval Office. Building staff were not present, but an ample bar had been laid out in the rear corner. “Well done, Mr. President!” said Russell Vought, principle author of...
September 29, 2025/
“We have a problem in America. A BIG problem.” President Trump spoke from a podium at the Ellipse, near the White House. “There are too many books leading us astray, leading our children astray. Books promoting RADICAL LIBERAL IDEOLOGY! This has to stop! Now!” Some in the crowd hollered support as he continued. “The corrupt Antifa Terrorists are using our...
September 23, 2025/
At a rally in Pennsylvania today, President Trump unveiled a new item in his official Trump Store, www.TrumpedUp.gov. “This is gonna fly off the shelves!” claimed the president. “It’s fashionable; it’s healthy; it’s only $39.95 with your MAGA membership!” He reached into a box, lifted out something very shiny, and placed it delicately on his head. “The new MAGA hat!...
September 13, 2025/
“We’re not the only country who’s had a problem finding suitable places to export unwanted people,” said President Trump at Monday’s Press Conference. “Take Britain, for example, our mother country. They had problems with some lowlifes – criminals, drunkards, prostitutes. What’d they do? Shipped ‘em all out to Australia! Miles and miles of empty space. They built a whole country...
August 28, 2025/
Demonstrating his profile pattern of reneging on established contracts, President Trump met today with the American Business Roundtable to gloat about his recent investment in Intel, the American chip manufacturer. “I froze the $8.9 billion in grants they already received in the CHIPS Act and Defense spending. Then I let ‘em sweat. They finally came back to the table and...
August 23, 2025/
President Trump today called for the renaming of the Washington and Lincoln monuments during a press briefing at the White House. The historic buildings, icons of American democracy and resilience, will be named after the president’s two older sons. “This will be great!” he said. “It will add to the greatness of America, our great country.” Trump showed a mock-up...
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- February 3, 2026